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SWMBO warns that there be cussing in this thar post…

There be a mania sweeping the continent of Europe from North to South, East to West.  We’ve seen it in every non-English speaking country we’ve been in – 12 so far.  It be a frenzy for t-shirts sporting idiotic/non-sensical English sayings.

High End Nonsense - Venice models her new Benetton t-shirt, Skopje

High End Nonsense – Venice models her new Benetton t-shirt, Skopje

Since it is definitely not PC to walk up to random people and photograph their moronic t-shirts, you’ll have to take my word for what we’ve seen.  Below, I’ve written actual sayings from actual t-shirts that we have seen people actually wearing.  Unless otherwise noted, the t-shirt wearer was an adult.  Warning: Many sound like fodder from SNL’s Deep Thoughts archive.  And a lot have images of cats.

But before we begin, this blog newbie is going to attempt to insert a short video into the post.  It is a great mini-clip of Lastborn on a crazy 15 km hike (at about kilometre 10).  If your volume is up you should hear the beautiful cow bells.

Wow – it looks like that worked!  As promised, here are the t-shirt slogans:

Last White T-Shirt (on a white t-shirt)

Break the High Score Humiliate Your Opponent

If You Stand for Nothing You Don’t Fall on Anything

Lost Surfer Looking for Paradise

This is my Suppertime Dance (with a cartoon of Snoopy)

Fuck You Cats have Nine Lives (with a picture of a cat) – my personal favourite

Institute for Imagining the Future of Moscow

I Just Wanna Hide Spring Inside – had to include it because we now own it!

After five months of resistance, we are finally infected by the Dumb T-shirt Saying virus (Lastborn)

After five months of resistance, we are finally infected by the Dumb T-shirt virus (Lastborn wearing a Benetton t-shirt)

Hi Pig! (A picture of a pig on the bum of a bathing suit worn by a nine-year old)

Let’s have a pillow fight!

There is no Elevator to Success – You Have to Take the Stairs

Break the Rules – Keep Your Freedom – Stay Rich

Love is the New Black

I Missed U (picture of a cat)

One Idea – You Excellent

Love is My Life (picture of a cat)

Less is the New More

Listen to Jack Knife

No Fuckin’ Mercy (in curly cursive writing)

Safety T-Shirt (image of a huge safety pin)

There have been so many more but much as we thought they were so dumb we’d remember them forever, the ones we didn’t write down have morphed together in our minds into one mega-dumb saying that wouldn’t even fit on a t-shirt.  No worries, we’ll just sit in a café for a few minutes and people watch…

Porto, Portugal

Porto, Portugal

Yup – it worked.  Fahbio went out to get a loaf of bread and saw a kid wearing a “Keep Calm” t-shirt.  It said, “I can’t Keep Calm – I’m Italian”.  Okay, I admit, that one is cute.