SWMBO warns that there be cussing in this thar post…
There be a mania sweeping the continent of Europe from North to South, East to West. We’ve seen it in every non-English speaking country we’ve been in – 12 so far. It be a frenzy for t-shirts sporting idiotic/non-sensical English sayings.
Since it is definitely not PC to walk up to random people and photograph their moronic t-shirts, you’ll have to take my word for what we’ve seen. Below, I’ve written actual sayings from actual t-shirts that we have seen people actually wearing. Unless otherwise noted, the t-shirt wearer was an adult. Warning: Many sound like fodder from SNL’s Deep Thoughts archive. And a lot have images of cats.
But before we begin, this blog newbie is going to attempt to insert a short video into the post. It is a great mini-clip of Lastborn on a crazy 15 km hike (at about kilometre 10). If your volume is up you should hear the beautiful cow bells.
Wow – it looks like that worked! As promised, here are the t-shirt slogans:
Last White T-Shirt (on a white t-shirt)
Break the High Score Humiliate Your Opponent
If You Stand for Nothing You Don’t Fall on Anything
Lost Surfer Looking for Paradise
This is my Suppertime Dance (with a cartoon of Snoopy)
Fuck You Cats have Nine Lives (with a picture of a cat) – my personal favourite
Institute for Imagining the Future of Moscow
I Just Wanna Hide Spring Inside – had to include it because we now own it!
Hi Pig! (A picture of a pig on the bum of a bathing suit worn by a nine-year old)
Let’s have a pillow fight!
There is no Elevator to Success – You Have to Take the Stairs
Break the Rules – Keep Your Freedom – Stay Rich
Love is the New Black
I Missed U (picture of a cat)
One Idea – You Excellent
Love is My Life (picture of a cat)
Less is the New More
Listen to Jack Knife
No Fuckin’ Mercy (in curly cursive writing)
Safety T-Shirt (image of a huge safety pin)
There have been so many more but much as we thought they were so dumb we’d remember them forever, the ones we didn’t write down have morphed together in our minds into one mega-dumb saying that wouldn’t even fit on a t-shirt. No worries, we’ll just sit in a café for a few minutes and people watch…
Yup – it worked. Fahbio went out to get a loaf of bread and saw a kid wearing a “Keep Calm” t-shirt. It said, “I can’t Keep Calm – I’m Italian”. Okay, I admit, that one is cute.